Farewell My Sweet, Sweet Endy Dog--I Love You

The year was 1996, and a little boy and his sister arrived at my door with this cute thin golden retriever mix.  They found the dog wandering close to highway 1604 and they knew their dad wouldn't let them keep him.  They asked me if I would give the lost dog a home, so that Happy (my chow chow) wouldn't be alone.

Clever children played the "your dog needs a friend" card.

I didn't want to keep the dog, so I named him ND (new dog) and posted his picture around the neighborhood in hopes of finding him a new family.  No one called.  Endy joined my little fur family a week later.

Sixteen and a half years later, I was faced with the hardest decision of our lives.  Endy lost the ability to walk more than a few feet and he was panting--heavily.  Last year Endy was diagnosed with diabetes and he lost his eye sight earlier this year.  I thought maybe Endy lost his ability to walk from diabetes (he was unable to walk for a short time last year until he was started on insulin shots) and we just needed to adjust his medication.  By Monday night, I knew there was something very seriously wrong with Endy.  I couldn't help shake the feeling that there was something horribly wrong with his heart. I could feel his heart beat and it felt very strong and rather irregular.

Every moment I could, I sat or laid next to Endy, praying he was going to be okay, telling him that I loved him very much.  When I couldn't sit with him, one of his kitty/doggy brothers or sisters sat in my place.

Endy receiving a face cleaning from Toby with Simon watching his progress - April 2013

Tabby often sat by Endy prior to his passing - April 30, 2013

When Endy and I arrived at the vet yesterday afternoon, we were seen right away.  I didn't want to end Endy's life if there was a chance he could be cured. I didn't want to give up any hope that Endy could return home, good as new and eager to eat his favorite treats. He seemed very energetic at the vet's office and I knew he didn't want to leave me that day.  I prayed that we only needed to adjust his insulin dosage so I could take him home again.  I told the staff that Endy and I didn't want to put him to sleep--we wanted to cure him by any means possible.   

The vet tech was unable to find a suitable vein to draw blood, so my vet came in and drew his blood.  Endy's veins were so small and his blood pressure was low, it took a little longer than normal to draw enough blood for the glucose test. 

As it turned out, Endy's sugar level was perfect.  No adjustment to his medication was required.  I mentioned that I thought there was something wrong with Endy's heart and that he could not walk anymore than a few feet at a time.  After listening to Endy's heart for awhile, I was told that, while he could feel his heart beating, he couldn't hear the beats.  Endy was immediately x-rayed and he underwent an ultrasound test. The test results were devastating.

Bottom line without all the long medical terms - Endy had a really bad heart and his spine was disintegrating.  When Endy returned from his tests, he was barely moving as he was exhausted from the examinations. Endy was not going to get better.  He was only going to get worse and he was having problems breathing because his lungs were compromised. Endy had been suffering in silence for some time and I never even knew it.   My brave, brave boy kept his condition from me, giving us more time together.

At this point, I knew that it would be inhumane to return home with Endy.  Odds were he would die while I was at work, and there were no guarantees that he wouldn't suffer.  

I made the incredibly hard decision to say good-bye to Endy, holding his body as he slowly and very quietly  slipped away from me.  Even though Endy was blind, I couldn't help but think we were staring into each other's souls as he slipped from his body to join his brothers Rex and Ardy in Heaven.

The house is so empty now without Endy's smiling face and cheerful tail wags.  He was always excited to see me when I came home -- such unconditional love I received from my precious Endy that I realized he was truly a gift from God. 

My only regret I have was I didn't take enough pictures of my precious boy over the years.  I took so many pictures of other animals, but not enough of my own.  

Below are just a few pictures I took of my "handsome hun, my handsome son, my handsome sunny bun";  I used to say this to my Endy boy all the time and he loved hearing the sound of my voice when I spoke these words to him.

My cats loved Endy, especially Twiggy as she was often seen "guarding" Endy while he slept.

Endy loved, loved, loved his treats!

 

Endy loved opening Christmas presents!

Endy, Ardie, and Rex loved traveling to the land where they could play!

Endy was such a couch potato!  Simon and Rex loved to hang around together...

May God Bless Endy in Heaven Forever and Ever.  Amen.

I love you Endy and you will always be a part of my life.  I pray you and Rex and Ardy are running wild and free together in perfect health and in perfect harmony.  Job well done, Endy.  Now be happy.  Be free for me.  Run like the wind, my sweet, sweet Endy...